Van Halen - Ranking Roth
Not that long ago, I came across an article published in a well-known website, that ranked every single Van Halen song. Even the ones from Van Halen III. Ugh. It became apparent, however, as I read through the list, and each comment the author made, that he wasn't actually much of a fan. He actually seemed to dislike almost every song on the list, despite saying he was a fan.
For me to replicate that list, I'd have to spend time listening to Van Halen III, which I can't bring myself to do. Instead, I decided since I love the David Lee Roth era albums the most, I'd only include songs those songs. Dave's been involved in 75 songs.
Here they are, starting at the bottom, with minimal comments.
75. Tora! Tora! - This is the intro to Loss of Control.
74. Intruder - The intro to (Oh) Pretty Woman.
73. 1984 - Instrumental.
72. I'll Wait - Ironically, this was the song that got me to go out and buy my first Van Halen album, 1984. (Purchasing the rest of the catalogue followed soon after.) I really don't like this song much, anymore.
If those four songs didn't exist, I'd be happy.
71. Bullethead
70. China Town - Rips at the start... but then goes over a cliff.
69. Can't Get This Stuff No More - Despite having a fantastic lyric ("Steak and potatoes, a feather in a bucket" What?!), this song does nothing for me.
68. Jump
64. Secrets
62. Blood and Fire
61. Sunday Afternoon in the Park - Instrumental. Maybe the least Van Halen song ever? Leads right into One Foot Out the Door.
59. Loss of Control - This used to be the only VH song that I really never liked, but then I realized I mostly hated the intro. (See above.)
58. Girl Gone Bad
57. Little Dreamer
54. House of Pain - Oddly, the demo version of this song, with all of its warts, would be in my top five.
The preceding eighteen songs are the ones I could live without. I don't dislike them, but I'd never add them to a playlist of favourites. Each could move up or down a spot or two within the group, depending on my mood.
50. As Is
49. Outta Love Again
47. D.O.A.
45. Big River
44. So This is Love?
43. Women In Love
42. Happy Trails
41. Little Guitars
40. Little Guitars (Intro) - Yes, I like the intro more than the song. (And, yes, it's technically a separate track.
38. Runnin' With the Devil - The first track of their debut album.
37. Fools
36. Tattoo
35. Jamie's Cryin'
34. Bottoms Up!
33. Romeo Delight
32. Beats Workin'
31. Atomic Punk
30. Top Jimmy
29. I'm The One
27. Unchained
26. Panama
Somewhat like the previous grouping, this section could have the most movement if I were to revisit the list in a few years. All are quite listen-to-able.
25. Spanish Fly - Instrumental
24. Dancing in the Street - Eddie's least favourite song?
23. Cathedral - Instrumental
21. Outta Space
20. She's the Woman - Kim sings it as "She's the wombat." She thinks that it's hilarious.
19. Dirty Movies
19. Dirty Movies
18. Mean Street
17. Beautiful Girls - Schmitts Gay. Classic.
16. Light Up the Sky
10. You Really Got Me - In 1978, this was most of the world's introduction to Van Halen.
8. Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now) - Edward & Alex's father, Jan, plays the clarinet on this one.
7. The Full Bug
6. Stay Frosty - Kim's least favourite Van Halen song. I prefer this over Ice Cream Man because of the lyrics.
4. Eruption - You Really Got Me may have been the band's introduction to the world, but it was Eruption that had a generational impact on music.
2. Hot For Teacher - Has there ever been a better song+video combination? At worse, it's in the top 3.
1. Me Wise Magic - This track was recorded for their Best Of album.
The Top 3 might bounce around, day to day, but they're never moving out of the those three spots.
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